We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize