I just made out with a guy for $7.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
