I don't think brook has ever known best
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
Randomize
