so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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