Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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