I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
