My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
