i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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