Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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