smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
