Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Houston, we have a squirter
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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