Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
