So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize