I could make wine with my vomit
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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