Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
