love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
