I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
