sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
