Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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