WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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