Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
