Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
