Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
