Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
My balls are so social today.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize