I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
