Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
