Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
