Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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