I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
