I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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