I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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