Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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