Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
