is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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