I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
