Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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