it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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