she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
