he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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