Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
