dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
