3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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