maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
