I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Terrible idea I love it
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
