I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
if i died would you start the facebook group?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
