Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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