He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize