I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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