Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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