Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Just invented taco cereal.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
