Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
