I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I fill condoms, not promises.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
