i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
