I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
from now on my penis is your penis
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
